She's JV to your varsity
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
