Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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