I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
