i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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