No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
third nipple confirmed
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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