The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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