He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
