My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Randomize
