physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
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It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
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I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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