wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
