When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
