Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
