john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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