i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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