I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
