Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How does one acquire holy water?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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