dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
