She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
