You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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