Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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