Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
