i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
