I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
