her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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