Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
