Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize