It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
