i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
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There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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