Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
