giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
