So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
