If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
