Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
