omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry