that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize