I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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