If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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