I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize