Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My balls are so social today.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have fence marks all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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