Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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