I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
either way he was missing a nipple.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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