You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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