we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
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The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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