when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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