margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
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Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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