Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
