I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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