There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
