in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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