put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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