I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
