I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
