A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize