I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
