3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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