we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
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The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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