I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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