This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
