We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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