to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
