I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize