I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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