everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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